Posted by estrellita on March 23, 2008, at 2:03:13
In reply to no hugs, no nothing, posted by sunnydays on March 22, 2008, at 11:10:23
> So my T is taping my sessions now. :( :( :( Because I had found out that my mom thinks he's sexually abusing me (he's absolutely not). He says it doesn't affect anything, it's just in case he needs to be able to defend himself. But it was devastating to hear that. I cried the entire session and could barely talk. He said he still likes me, that I didn't do anything wrong, that he's grateful to me for telling him, that he still wants to work with me. But it was just awful. And I feel like I've ruined everything and now he hates me. And he said he got accused once in the past because he hugged someone and they were fine with it that day but the next day they made a whole bunch of accusation, and that's why he doesn't hug me or anyone. And that that's hard for him because that's kind of how he is, but that that's what's hard about being a male therapist when most people that come in are females.
>
> I'm just devastated. I don't know why. It just hurts so bad.
>
> sunnydays
I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through that. I said in another thread that all my sessions are videotaped, and it really stresses me out. It makes me be a lot less open than I would otherwise be. I asked last session if they were still being taped, because I wasn't even sure. He said they still are, it's clinic policy, though he and his supervisor don't go over them every week anymore.Maybe it will help if you think about how there's almost no chance anyone is ever going to hear your recordings?
I don't quite understand the whole situation going on with your sessions, but I can understand some of the distress you feel about it.
I really hate how it changes the way I interact with him in therapy, and how it adds in this whole liability angle that seems to put the primary focus on that instead of on what is best for me.
I have the whole issue with wanting to be his friend after the therapy is over, and all my feelings around still being attracted to him. But the fact that everything is videotaped means I don't bring it up. I think I would if things weren't being recorded, but it's just too stressful to know somebody could watch what I said, and how I said it, and then comment on it and talk about it and me not even knowing about it.
It feels like I'm being objectified, and categorized as a crazy person whose interactions have to be recorded for the safety of the therapist/clinic. I know that's not it at all. Just how it feels.
Anyway, I hope things get better for you.
*estrellita
poster:estrellita
thread:819383
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080321/msgs/819500.html