Posted by lovelorn on December 10, 2007, at 10:19:09
In reply to Re:being split, posted by muffled on December 9, 2007, at 23:39:30
Not sure what to advise you Muffled. It does sound like quite a lot of confusion going on. Maybe that kid is not so powerless afterall if this part of yourself is causing so much confusion.
I think it may be that that small part of yourself really wants to express itself, and has found someone in your T to do that with even though the other parts are not letting her to talk. I think you won't get any relief until that small part actually does talk and lets out what is bothering her. Easier said than done when we've built up all kinds of defenses, I know.
I can just say with my own regressed parts, that sometimes feels like a child in me, that child wanted to be heard and her pain and lonliness felt. I felt safe with my T to do that many times already, and actually this past weekend I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and again that part needed to come out and say some stuff. Once I did let it come, my mind felt better.
As you said, we don't always know when these parts will come out - for me, I just get a sense that something is not going right and there seems like a 'block' in my mind that won't go away. Then it comes like it did this past weekend, or like it does when I go to some of my sessions.
You are used to others being hard on you or yourself being hard on yourself. It must be a strange new experience with your T who is always nice and gentle. There is a part of you that is attracted to that even if it can't accept it right now. It knows its good, so don't ignore it.
Why not ask your T why she doesn't just tell you to get your F'n act together. Explain to her the conflict you are feeling, that part of you wants and understands that and that part of you is unsure what to do with her "niceness". Her answers may make you feel more comfortable and help you understand better what she is trying to accomplish with you.
poster:lovelorn
thread:799840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071204/msgs/799892.html