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Re: trepidation » muffled

Posted by llurpsienoodle on December 3, 2007, at 15:05:11

In reply to Re: trepidation » llurpsienoodle, posted by muffled on December 3, 2007, at 12:34:19

It was so hard. I did tell the big ugly, and while I was at it, some little uglies as well.

T told me and showed me that I was REALLY hard on myself. back then and even now. That I need to do some self-talk "it was not my fault" "it was not my fault" etc etc.

I just left my supervisor with a voicemail (I made a mistake at work) and my voice is shaking. still. hours later. this has been the hardest week I've had in a long time, and it doesn't seem like it's getting better.

Even after telling my T the big uggly, I still feel deep shame and fear. I wasn't supposed to tell. I wasn't supposed to tell. I feel so much self-loathing, that I would like to disappear.

catharsis, where art thou


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