Posted by antigua3 on November 28, 2007, at 7:20:46
In reply to processing?, posted by Muffled on November 27, 2007, at 17:48:21
You're breaking my heart because you struggle so much. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make it all go away. But I can't, and the only way is through.
Yes, that little kid is part of you and I think you already know that. She has the words and/or feelings to tell. Try to let her tell, no matter how, as Daisy suggested.
I hated my little girl for the longest times. I wanted to kill her off because she seemed so pathetic in my eyes, and didn't have a lot to do with me. One day, and I don't know how, I stopped hating her and wanted to help her. I used one of my older girls to help her. You see, the littlest one really doesn't talk, she's just a pathetic, disgusting mess and represents the most hurting part of me.
Just keep trying. I've spent years just reciting events, but sometimes now I can have the feelings too, which my T says is better. Rationally, I know this, but emotionally I'd rather be flat--it's much less painful.
We are all here for you and we care a lot. Try to steer clear of self-destructive behavior. That may be coming from one of your kids, and you may be close, close to something because you recently got pushed over the edge with that teeny relapse.
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:797346
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797411.html