Posted by star008 on November 28, 2007, at 6:30:54
In reply to Re: and what if, posted by Daisym on November 27, 2007, at 22:40:04
oh Muffled.. I am so sorry.. I know pretty much how you feel. I have to agree with Daisy..The way out is through.. I hated all of them too.. Made me feel yuck..Just yuck.. It took along time not to hate them all..Sometimes I find a part of me that still does hate them//But, have you ever hated a kid?? Really hated a kid?? No.. because you aren't that mean..And whatever happened was not her fault cuz kids are just kids.. YOu know that.. It is the mean part of yourself that hates her. I felt that way for a long time..But then I started to feel a little guilty..She is just a kid and I am mean to her and treat her like sh...t. She is a kid like you kids.. Like anyones kids..She is stuck in time and never asked to be htere.. I know u don't want to take care of her..Don't want to hear anything she has to say,,, but she is a kid.. remember that..I know it is hard for you to listen to this sh...t , but I have been where you am.. Am still there in alot of ways..I don't ahve the answers for this.. I do know it can take years to process.. Processing has to do with getting to know the kids and somehow you live with them or integrate them.. They don't have to integrate for you to get better though.
Do you just have one kid??? I would suspect there are more that you don't know about.. Don't be surprised if you find more..I have 6 that I know of..Each one has their own stuff.. I don't know where they were all those years.. I haven't known they were all with me for that long.. a few years maybe..But they are there since the age they are when you see them.. YOu ahve an idea of how old she is..
hugs muffled
You can't punch walls.. that wouldn't make sense.. You will jsut break your hand and then have to go through all that stuff.. It does get better.. But it takes so damn long..
I hope I can hope you out a little.. As hard as it is try to soften up a bit towards her.. Just try to put away the anger and get a sense of what she is about..Really Muffled,, I know every bit how awful and terrbile this is but you gotta get through it for your children..They need their mom..
poster:star008
thread:797346
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071120/msgs/797404.html