Posted by Dory on October 7, 2007, at 14:55:13
In reply to Re: i am in hell, posted by rskontos on October 7, 2007, at 14:04:48
i appreciate the thought anyway. knowing that people care matters..
but it's not lost on me that i seem to be able to make "virtual" or cyber people care, but IRL i can't. i mean, there are people here who care and i know they really do.. but i can't turn to them like this. i can't. and it isn't fair to expect that of friends when my life is one crisis after another.
so everyone thinks i am fine. Dory will always land on her feet.
i asked my mom once why she never tried to step in to help me or get close to me like she did with my sister... and that was what she said. My sister was less stubborn and she felt i would always land on my feet. Dory doesn't have feelings. Dory doesn't need anyone ever.
now.. no one gets too close. i got tired of no one wanting to.. tired of wanting closeness that never came. Built big strong walls. Thick walls. T is trying but he can't get close to me.
so very sad.
i tore open the wounds from last weekend. The injury is not important to me.. it's the result. That's what brings me release. i know that at some point the urge will take over. It's like a bittersweet lover.
i need to sleep for a while.
poster:Dory
thread:787314
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787632.html