Posted by Dory on October 6, 2007, at 18:24:42
In reply to (((((((((((((((dory)))))))))))) » Dory, posted by happyflower on October 6, 2007, at 16:58:51
i won't ignore.. it all sounds like good ideas
i just hurt so bad right now
can't undo the past
love
need
can't do it anymore
pain and fear
don't leave
don't stay
so upset
no one to turn to
no one to hold me.. ever
don't remember the last time i was held
can't imagine life without
can't imagine life with
please don't go
can't let you stayi am numb in a way.. not crying, can't cry.. cried so much last year i may never cry again. A life's worth of tears. Don't know what to do. Numb and paralyzed. Tried to be brave.. but i know i will back down. i have to. i don't have the strength not to. what would my life be? there would be no hope of anything. i get more disabled every year.
i have nothing.
i am nothingno success but years of school and debt. alone.
no hope of ever *being something*NOT real people
thank you HF for caring and responding. i am sorry my reply is so broken up. i let the feeling side of me just choose words.. it's easier and more true that trying to interpret and write about it.
i will take the hot bath. went and bought some bath stuff that says it's anti-stress. Can't do anything else though.. i have to write that paper. i can't fathom how i am going to do it in my current state of mind. Maybe i can shift into autopilot. The paper is about something boring.. maybe i can just stick with the numbness so i can write.
poster:Dory
thread:787314
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070929/msgs/787359.html