Posted by pegasus on April 20, 2007, at 10:23:26
In reply to Thanks and a question -- All, posted by Daisym on April 20, 2007, at 1:35:05
You know, I think the problem is that I wouldn't be happy with any real rules. I want magic. I want my T to read my mind, and to not exist when I'm not there, and to back off when I need to do things myself, but be close when I need extra support. I want hugs when I want them, and no touching when I don't want to be touched. I want constant and detailed, but truthful, reassurance that I'm special. I want honest and gentle recognition of the things I need to work on, but only when I'm feeling strong enough to face them.
OK, well, we all want that, don't we. So, here's what I think I could best live with in real life:
I think that if I could set the rules, I would *want* the rule that my T would not ever initiate a call to me, but that she would call me back in a reasonable amount of time anytime I left a message for her. If I know that my T might sometimes call me, then I'd be always hoping for a call, or feeling bad when a call didn't come that I wanted. And If *I* was the one who got to say that she couldn't call, then I'd feel better about the rule for not calling. What hurts is when it's the T that sets the rule, because it sounds like, "Don't bother me. You're too much work." Of course, that freedome necessarily implies that another client might choose to set the rule that the T should always call when they had a notion to, or at set intervals, or some other rule that might not be acceptable to the T. So my rule would never work.
I feel like I didn't help at all here. Sorry.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:751260
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070419/msgs/751561.html