Posted by Dinah on April 9, 2007, at 1:39:18
In reply to Reasons, posted by Daisym on April 9, 2007, at 1:23:32
I wish I was that good or nice. :(
When I first expressed it, it was more a battle. I hated caring about him, and wondered if it was ok, and hated that I cared more than he did.
I still hate that.
I think if I hadn't felt like he cared at least a fair amount, I would still hate that I love him. Unrequited love s*cks. The power differential s*cks.
Maybe I'm just not nice enough to enjoy the expression of caritas without expectation. Well, I can't say there was expectation. That's why the admission was more of a reproach at first.
But... I guess it depends on my mood. Sometimes I could say with perfect good humor that I loved him, even if I wasn't feeling loved. Other times I felt like an idiot, or worse.
poster:Dinah
thread:747905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070406/msgs/748327.html