Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on February 13, 2007, at 9:19:02
In reply to Not good ***trig SI, posted by ElaineM on February 12, 2007, at 20:43:52
(((((Sweetie))))))
I got my hair cut yesterday too. shortest it's been in maybe 4 years.
Secret to not looking like a boy = carriage (don't collapse across your chest. keep your head balanced on your neck) and since you already wear very feminine-colored clothes, that will help a lot.
are your ears pierced? Earrings are fun and cheap way to feel special. you can pick up several pairs for less than 10 bucks at the mall. Buy something fun and something elegant and something chic and modern.
(((((hug))))))
your T is healing. He was a really sick sick guy for a long time. you got used to that. He got used to that. He's not a bad person, but he's trying to change. He's trying HARD to change. And it's his right to tell you how you make him feel as a person. As your T, it's NOT his right to make you feel like a bad person for actions that he encouraged.
Does that sound contradictory? yeah, well it is. That's because the T relationship has been sacrificed. Sick T was kind of consistent in his sick-ness. Looking back on your posts, though, everytime that you speak of a stress on your T-Elaine relationship you have gone through intense feelings of self-doubt.
This is going to be the biggest challenge yet. When can you get to see a real T? Any news on that front?
Until you do, please tell us what is going on and how it makes you feel. You are not disgusting and loathsome. You are very lovely inside. I'm sorry that you're hurting yourself right now. You've had a relapse. That's part of the road to recovery, though. Please take a step back and think-- did you EVER think that there would be a time in your life when you would go for several months without taking out self-destructive instincts on your own flesh?
Okay. you slipped up. If you're in a bad way, get to the doctor and make sure your boo boo's don't get infected. I've had 2 infections this year. ugh. neosporin is good for abrasions and scrapes, and helps prevent scarring. hydrogen peroxide is good for cleaning out deeper and more jagged injuries.
And now we can stick to prevention.
1) you use tools to SI? throw them away.
2) you have certain parts? put a bandaid or a dozen on them.
3) distract.
4) keep your skin moisturized and soft. Take care of your outsides and they won't seem so icky.My personal favorite is to take a long bath with Epsom salts. They have Mg++ which is absorbed through your skin and has a wonderful calming sedating quality. This is perfect way to end a binge. Take 3 steps. throw away tools. slap a bandaid on it. fill up tub.you're the one who helped me so much when I was going through this stuff, remember my little cotton gloves and things? They are still part of my daily life. When my cuticles get crispy, I glop on tons of hand cream and put on my gloves and that usually saves the day.
When I find that I'm picking nonetheless, I tell myself what my T told me. Relapse is a step to recovery. I tell myself that I relapsed with the skin on my index finger, but that I have the power to stop before I allow my anxiety, self-destructiveness to take over and ruin a few more fingers at the same time.
((((((((((Elaine))))))))))
your fellow short-haired, non-lesbian, non-male friend, with sassy earrings,
-Ll
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:729230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/732380.html