Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on February 6, 2007, at 22:14:30
In reply to Re: I feel upset, *******triggers*********longer, posted by muffled on February 6, 2007, at 18:33:48
Hey Deneb,
is there a place in your world where you can distract yourself safely when you feel "upset" and start the twirly-dance that muffled described above?Self-soothing is really important skill to develop.
I KNOW in my heart that you really really really ARE trying hard to change. That is why I think you are cool. That is why I want to meet you IRL someday, and also why I have warm babble-love towards you.
Worried about being manipulative? Worried about being or not being a particular kind of person? That must be agony. I think you've got a strong streak of self-destructive-Deneb in you. You start listening to the self-destructive-Deneb too much and you will start to spiral into feelings of distress and despair, and the world won't make any sense, and there is no other way out--- BUT you have to be extra careful to listen to the other voice too. There is a voice of Caring-Deneb. Caring-Deneb has told LlurpsieNoodle on occasion that she loves me (that was so special ((((hugs in my heart)))). Caring-Deneb has warm feelings for Dr. Bob, and for many psycho-babblers.
Your real challenge is to listen to Caring-Deneb even when she's really really scared and barely whispering while Self-Destructive-Deneb is demanding that you give in to your misery.
Listening to that Caring-Deneb voice will save you every time. She is ALWAYS there. You just have to listen.
Here is a little list of things that helps me listen to my Caring-Llurpsie voice
1) post supportive things to random folks on psycho-babble. Hard to destroy myself while supporting others. This is definitely a case of 'tis better to give than to recieve.
2) distract DISTRACT!!! have a movie on hand, pop it in your DVD player, and DISTRACT!!!
3) warm relaxing bath, with body butter
4) find a safe nook in your room. Make it your designated "safe place". Go hide there when Caring-Deneb gets too quiet. Your safe place can be bed (that's my safe place). Or in your closet, or on the couch. Make it cozy and warm. Allow Caring-Deneb to decorate it for you when she is feeling strong
5) Dr. Bob needs a scarf BAD. it's friggin' cold, and if he won't accept it, you can donate it to a shelter for people who need scarves.
6) Dr. Bob needs a hat too. His hair doesn't even touch his ears. they are out in the cold. poor Dr. Bob's ears.
7) Make a list of everyone who you love. keep it close and use it as self defense against dark feelings. Make a list of everyone who loves you. LlurpsieNoodle's on that list. I hope I have one of the longer names... :)
8) Make a calendar out of sparkles and glitter "days until babble-fest 2007" It will be AWESOME.
9) you fill in # 9 and #10 with your own ideas
The main point is that upset comes from nowhere and can lead you to a very desperate place if you indulge it. But if you deny it, by distracting yourself, etc, you can save yourself a lot of distress.You're still working very hard on this stuff. Can you think of some things that you've done recently in therapy that you feel good about? Can you think of something that made you feel good about yourself? Those are all little milestones that you're making PROGRESS.
sure is hard to keep track, though. I wish therapists gave out report cards with gold stars. oh well...
*gold* *stars* *for* *you*
love,
Llurps
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:730248
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/730641.html