Posted by ElaineM on February 4, 2007, at 10:35:28
In reply to Re: The Next big Step :-) = update » ElaineM, posted by MidnightBlue on February 4, 2007, at 0:31:33
Thanks Midnight :)
I'm just scared cause the only group things I've done (which was constant and many) was during my ED admissions. They weren't "specifically" trauma groups [like sometimes a person would choose to talk about not knowing how to communicate with their mother/father, or "just" depression] but alot of the time the women spoke of horrifying, violent, stomach-churning sadness, events. And that was a very contained and protected environment -- staff made sure that things didn't escalate to a level people couldn't tolerate (or that they thought they weren't ready to go to at that time). This would be different cause I'd go home alone afterwards. That's scary.
I barely spoke then too. And the thing I'd be talking about, I've only ever told in detail to LadyT [once in a panicked crying burst] and another "appropriate person", but that was also a one-shot [I'll never have contact with that professional ever again]. Plus, it's not the most ancient of history. It still seems fresh and I'm worried that now that I've got it kinda quieted and hidden that listening to others, or trying to speak myself will make it explode and thousand times worse.
I'm scared to hear others stories. I can't handle stuff like that. Once in treatment someone told a story that made one of the new therapists start crying, and that made me lose control and I've never felt so upset by someone's terribly experience, and I hurt myself after that group (on the unit). I can still vividly remember the look on that girl-woman's face, and her saying those words - it still can bring tears to my eyes. And that wasn't even my own stuff.
Also, whether I do it or not doesn't depend on what my T does, cause I wasn't going to be talking about him -- something else. T doesn't even know about what I'd be talking about. Him seeing his T *will* determine how much I stay with him, but not if I do the trauma group. Sorry if I'm confusing - I don't like thinking about making this decision.
But I didn't send the email yet.
I always hope things stay better too :)
((((MB))))) good to hear from you.
Blove El
poster:ElaineM
thread:729230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729595.html