Posted by Dinah on January 27, 2007, at 10:12:41
In reply to Has your therapist ever.? -very long - sex trigger, posted by Scentedgarden on January 27, 2007, at 8:49:30
My therapist has done a few of those things. They're part of his comfort level in his boundaries. He's got pretty wide boundaries, but they're still there and they're still ironclad.
It's ok to fantasize about anyone. Really. Even if the other person is married, even if you are committed and deeply in love with your partner. It's natural, it's normal, and there's no reason to feel guilty about fantasies or thoughts. You aren't hurting her or her husband with your thoughts.
It's not at all uncommon to have sexual thoughts about your therapist. I always think that the way therapy is set up, long periods of time together alone, a growing intimacy of sharing details of your life with someone, eye contact, warmth and acceptance on their part, all these things mimic mating traditions enough to easily confuse the brain. We're hard wired to fall in love, we're not hard wired to have therapy.
Have you read "In Session"? It was very helpful to me in figuring out what I did and didn't feel about my therapist.
Since you're in the winding down phase, maybe now would be a good time to try to take all you've learned about loving someone else and apply it to the rest of your life. Just because it took two years to care about her doesn't mean it will take two years to care about someone else. You've practiced with her, and it will probably come more easily to you now.
Madeline wrote a great post about how loving your therapist helps prepare you to love others.
I know it hurts. It's bound to. But hurt generally fades with time.
Is there anything positive and interesting that you can do with your usual therapy times? Take a class that you're interested in? Go the gym, or schedule a regular manicure or massage? I've been wanting to try to fit stained glass class into my schedule. I've wanted it for years in fact, although a fear of fire or something has kept me from pursuing it. Is there anything like that that you'd like to try?
poster:Dinah
thread:727068
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/727087.html