Posted by Dinah on October 4, 2006, at 9:57:37
In reply to Re: books, boundaries, accents » ElaineM, posted by Lindenblüte on October 3, 2006, at 22:19:29
> the stuff I want help with the most is stuff that a diagnostic interview fails to ask "when is the last time that you didn't feel like you knew who you were, or why you did the things you did?"
Funny you should put it that way. I spent the first five to eight years of therapy (ok, maybe not the first year of learning techniques) trying to figure out why I did the things I did. I took personality assessments, read voraciously, etc.
One of the best things that has come from my therapy is figuring that out. Life is so much less confusing now that I at least find my reactions (for the most part) understandable within the framework of my knowledge of myself.
It all came from what might be a controversial standpoint of thinking differently about my rational conscious self and my hitherto unconscious emotional self. So that actions that made absolutely no sense to me before, although I realized I was taking them but seemed unable to stop doing it, suddenly seemed perfectly understandable given what I knew about this different layer of myself. As long as I accept the fact that I have completely conflicting viewpoints about things at times.
It helps in other ways too. Knowing why I am responding the way I am by recognizing how I generally feel and react at this level helps me (usually) to change my behavior by thinking about things in ways that are more likely to reach me on an emotional level.
I'm not sure any of this makes sense, because it took a very long time before it made perfect sense to me. And of course why any individual does what they do is unique to them.
But it *is* just as important a question as I always thought it was, in terms of getting "better", whatever better may be.
poster:Dinah
thread:687876
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060926/msgs/691748.html