Posted by Tamar on June 22, 2006, at 17:34:13
In reply to Re: I failed again » Tamar, posted by annierose on June 22, 2006, at 6:18:39
Hi Annierose,
> Yes I do understand what you mean. He doesn't understand that language, and it's not any fault of his own. In this session, I think he tried to tell you that when he said "that maybe you should see someone that does more long term therapy." His training doesn't help people with these types of relationship issues (IMO). It doesn't make him a bad therapist or a bad person. He is probably quite good as what he does, and I give him credit for wanting/trying to help you.
I suspect you are right. Although the thing about long term therapy wasn’t a matter of referring me immediately. He was talking about after we finish our work together. And he chose to work with me in the way he’s working with me; he’s using a lot more psychodynamic technique than anything else. But it looks to me as if he’s not entirely prepared for the consequences. I’m pretty sure he has been trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy, but I suspect it’s been a while since he practised it.
> I know it's painful to seek out another therapist. When I quit my T mid-session (years ago) I did see another therapist. And it was a completely different experience and a good one. It's just different and different doesn't mean bad. And you won't be starting from scratch. You have already figured out things with T1 and T1 will give you the referrals to start the search. Ask him if these Ts are psychodynamic - that's really what you are seeking - I think. You will find the relationship so rewarding and exhausting.
I think when the stuff I’m working with him is over I will do just that!
> I'm not suggesting, although it sounds that way, that you up and leave this therapist. I just think you are stumbling into uncharted terriority with T1 and he is waving a yellow flag, saying "I'm not sure I can go there. I don't know how to respond in an appropriate manner. I don't know if I can help you with this."
That makes sense. On the other hand, if he were actually saying that (out loud), I could work with it. We could work together to negotiate comfort levels. But I’m increasingly coming to think that the problem is his countertransference rather than inexperience or lack of training. I suspect he’s in a fairly negative countertransference right now and that he’s struggling to handle it. I think it’s because we’re dealing with trauma issues. I was reading Judith Herman’s book "Trauma and Recovery" and she has some very interesting points to make about transference in patients who have been traumatised (swings from positive to negative transference, often very quickly), and in the complicated countertransferences that result for the therapist, often leaving the therapist feeling deskilled. It seemed to be a fairly good description of what’s going on in my therapy at the moment.
> You are making complete sense. My T would encourage this dialogue and pull things from it to help me see where this feeling originated - why it came to be a global template for me.
Ahhh… a global template! That’s a very interesting idea. I shall think about that!
Thanks so much for your response! It was really helpful.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:660078
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/660228.html