Posted by orchid on June 22, 2006, at 12:26:38
In reply to I failed again, posted by Tamar on June 22, 2006, at 5:58:47
((((Tamar))))
I don't think you failed. Your therapist doesn't have the training to do this.
I think he is probably extremely good in short term, CBT oriented therapy, but definitely isn't *comfortable at all* in getting into deeper issues like working through your transference about him and wants and needs and making sense out of it. He really doesn't know it. And when you keep trying, you are just going on hitting on a hard wall and getting yourself bruised again and again and wondering what you are doing wrong.
You aren't doing anything wrong, only that you are seeing a wrong T.
And when a T says you shoudl see someone else, I think it is about time you take it very seriously. Because usually Ts don't say it very lightly. When he says it, I think he realizes very well that he is not able to help you, and he is good enough to acknowledge it to you, rather than doing a half *ssed job of it by trying to do it himself. And probably he is thinking the same now himself too. He is probably saying to himself, "I failed again in trying to help her". And it doesn't do good to him too.
It would save both of you lot of frustration and pain and anger and bitterness down the road, if you decide to call it quits now, and work with someone else. Ask him for a referral, or find out someone else on your own, and atleast interview couple more Ts. And maybe you can strike a deal with your T, and ask him to assure you that he will take you back if that new relationship fails to work. Take 3 months off, and see someone new, and if it doesn't go well, come back to him.
How does that sound? You would be so much better off with a different T. I hate to see you hurting like this. And it is a hurt that you have no reason to feel. And you are wasting time and effort and money also.
poster:orchid
thread:660078
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/660146.html