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I do regret today » Tamar

Posted by ElaineM on June 21, 2006, at 20:33:04

In reply to (((((Elaine))))) » ElaineM, posted by Tamar on June 21, 2006, at 19:12:58

Tamar:

I just wanted to say that I'm really ashamed of the SI today. That's not me anymore. Or a least it wasn't until today. I'd been really proud that it had been four months since the last time. (and I'm never usually proud of myself for anything) I'm safe though. I never do anything that would be risky. It's never in a dangerous place. (I'm sorry I feel very embarassed talking about this. I know it's hard to understand for people who don't have the same issue. And I don't know who identifies so I feel bad even mentioning it.) I guess it's back to the beginning with this too. It's not a new thing, so I know what I need to do. I didn't think it would happen after so long.

I'm sorry if I implied that I was suicidal. I don't want to cause worry, it is just a coping thing for me. I just get desperate when I can't stop my sadness on my own. And I'm so lonely after all of this. I missed my doctor today, and that space is making me miss my T even more. I'm used to stuff like this happening, it just takes me longer each time to get back to "normal". Thanks for the hugs.
EL

- I don't really understand "trigger". Is it for when you are graphic, or even for only mentioning it?


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poster:ElaineM thread:659807
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/659921.html