Posted by ElaineM on June 16, 2006, at 15:05:41
In reply to Re: can professionals keep this a secret? » ElaineM, posted by Tamar on June 16, 2006, at 10:24:47
Thank you so much for being concerned, though I do think I should point out again that he is really very kind and gentle. I don't think he's a predator. He said he's never done this before, and that this is better for me. Better therapy.
And I know he'd never force me physically, ever. It's just that if he asked, I don't think I could say no. (But that's just me and my dysfunctions) I can't get him in trouble, because he is only trying to be nice to me, when no one else is. The thing that actually upsets me the most is when I find myself worrying more about what to say to make him feel better, and telling him what I think about his stuff going on, than my own stuff. Though the way we interact has become "my stuff". I don't mind helping him, but it scares me when I feel like he isn't strong enough for me anymore. I worry that if I stopped that that he would grow tired of me. I wouldn't have a purpose for him anymore. But again, I could have it all wrong. He has done nothing to seem aggressive or mean.
I am ambivalent. I'm scared of most people, most men. But I don't want to be all alone. I owe him everything for helping me this far, and for being able to stand me, cause I'm ugly and stupid. Maybe he is just trying to give me confidence. Maybe he just pitys me. I'm not sure.
I am a bit scared though after reading your post. Would I be able to tell if he was really this bad person underneath? If he is then he is a really good actor. But I'd be able to tell right?
Thanks Tamar.
El
poster:ElaineM
thread:657557
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060615/msgs/657669.html