Posted by allisonross on December 11, 2005, at 15:18:49
In reply to more about therapists » allisonross, posted by Tamar on December 11, 2005, at 14:42:31
> > > Aside from all that, I don’t seem to recall a single person asking Ally *why* she enjoys joking sexually about her therapist, or whether she believes it is helpful to flirt in therapy.
> >
> > Thankyou, sweetie!> > The answer is simple: With my therapist (and in life) I enjoy teasing and joking; am a free spirit in a buttoned down, locked down world, I know. My teasing is always subtle and gentle--never crude or offensive.
>
> Thanks for the answer, Ally. I suppose it leads me to ask further questions… (you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to!)Ask away!
>
> I had the opposite experience from you. I tease and flirt with people IRL,I tease and flirt with just about everybody!
just as you say you do, but in therapy I tried very hard never to be flirtatious.
I couldn't help myself. As I call "her" my evil twin; I told my t that it was Francesca (my evil twin) that made me so naughty.
It was partly a fear of rejection and partly a fear that he’d think I was a ‘bad girl’ and partly that I felt (for whatever reason) that flirting in therapy would disempower me a little.
>
> So I enjoy sexual joking about therapists here at Babble because I suppressed my inclinations to flirt in therapy.
>
> But for you I think it’s different. You do flirt in therapy, you say. So maybe you’re experiencing a different kind of relief when you joke about him here.I always feel better when I can joke. Life can be so tragic, painful and serious. I NEED to joke, to live.
>
> Sometimes I wonder – and of course I may be totally off the mark – if perhaps you’re a little annoyed at your therapist for being able to resist you.LOL---well, he is struggling with it (his words).
If you are, I think that’s pretty normal. I only ask because you haven’t said much about being angry at anything…
I did mention in another post (don't know to who, I am worn out now), that he had hurt me and I have been angry, and written poetry about it, and shared it also, with my friends.
You’ve shared events from your life that must have been extremely difficult to deal with and I imagine you must have been angry, though you didn’t say. And now your love and desire for your therapist is difficult to deal with, and perhaps that makes you angry.
Of course it does. Unfortunately, it just isn't my stuff...if it were, I would just tell myself to deal with it. To play with another's emotions is cruelty, and he does the push-me-pull me thing; come here, go away; I must be professional, etc.....He even told me:
"I have failed you"
I know there were times when I was furious at my therapist for not wanting to tear off my clothes (not that I ever told him I wanted him to do any such thing…).
I hear ya! Unrequited love is excruciating, because there is not a thing you can do about it. My t told me about an unrequited love he had, and said he grew to "hate her." He knows how I feel. I have told him verbally, and in poetry. There isn't a shadow of a doubt.
He also said: "You want me....to want you." Didn't have the guts to say: "Do you?" Point is, I know he does.
Going a tiny bit further...last week I said I had some questions I was curious about, and wanted to ask him, but it was none of my business, so I wouldn't ask them (ironic how I keep the boundaries, and he doesn't always..
His response: "Are those questions that might push me over the precipice?'!!!!!
This evening I intend to ask him the precipice question: Do you feel you are on a precipice? What is that like for you?...you feel that WORDS could push you over, etc....scary, but I want to know, since HE brought it up.
h>
> But joking about him might be a way of ‘pretending’ you’re not angry.Oh, I am angry. When he does something I don't like, or says something, etc....I let him know it.he will say: "Is this going to be painful?" LOL---because there was an incident where I let him have it (in a nice way, LOL)
Oh, trust me I say what I think. My joking is a part of me, like my skin and hair!
>
> Please feel free to ignore me if you think I’m talking nonsense.You are not, and I am grateful that you shared your feelings/story about YOUR t
Love talking to you.
Hugs, Ally>
> Tamar
>
>
>
poster:allisonross
thread:587729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/588098.html