Posted by B2chica on November 14, 2005, at 10:03:11
In reply to i never post any more, but b2c's post... *trigger*, posted by ghost on November 11, 2005, at 16:49:25
((((((((((((((((((((((((ghost))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i had no idea. i'm so sorry you went through that. but i am SOOOO happy that you took this giant step and said it here.
i've spent over a year trying to say that. and i still don't like or agree with what i all said. just like you said, it's like admitting it and crying makes you weak and 'I' won't allow me to be weak...(i have no time for that). but i realize i'm fighting myself with more energy that i could be using on other aspects of my life.
the funny thing is my T also works with substance abuse individuals and he says there's a saying, 1 drink is too much and 1000 is not enough. i applied that to saying i was hurt by others. saying it once was impossible and too much, but now that it's out it's like i can't get it out enough. weird huh.
i think this is a definate healing start for you.
i understand about it happening twice, only mine was the same guy about a week apart and the second is only considered sexual assault cuz force O.sex is not considered rape.
anyway, having hit happen twice makes me feel even more the fool. like i have this big sign that says come get me, i'm vulnerable. so i've spent the rest of my life acting like NOTHING could get to me...well, all those years finally caught up with me and it spewed out uncontrollably. luckily i have a great T and he's been helping me now sort through all this.
sometimes i'll write down what i have to say and have him read it cuz i can't or i'll tell him i have something to say but i'm not ready to talk about it, i'll say it and then he or i will change the subject.
i'm SOOOO glad to see you here, and to hell with your ex (that's right you ex person you, you leave my ghost ALONE!)please take care of yourself and keep posting!
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:577798
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578549.html