Posted by Pfinstegg on November 13, 2005, at 9:23:59
In reply to Re: Knowing and not knowing... » Pfinstegg, posted by daisym on November 12, 2005, at 17:53:02
Well, he has been gradually teaching me to comfort them,and to let them know that the adult me understands their pain, fear and longing. He said once, "I think that it's not possible for me to do it alone; there are so many times when you aren't here with me, and your parts are despairing or terrified- at those times, they will be very grateful if you let them know you understand and care." I really wanted HIM to do it all, but, in fact, it does work at least to an extent. It's as if the analysis is going on in my head all the time. Mine also doesn't call, or encourage calls, so I have to rely on my own resources when I'm not with him. I think the dedication of your therapist to calling and keeping in touch on Fridays and weekends is so remarkable. It must be quite rare, too.
As to having a male or female, I'm not sure if it matters too much. Mine is very tall and handsome, and I initially did have sexual feelings for him. But, as the work progressed, my own underlying parts' needs and desires, which are so much more childlike and asexual, came to predominate, and the adult sexual longings became far less important, and only appear occasionally. I wouldn't get too far with any flirting, because he wouldn't do it back, but would ask me to free associate to it all!
I actually prefer working with a man- at least this particular man- although I have both maternal and paternal transferences to him. I can easily imagine working successfully with a woman if she understood ego state disorders as well as mine does.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:577897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578180.html