Posted by Pfinstegg on November 13, 2005, at 9:49:24
In reply to Re: Knowing and not knowing... » Pfinstegg, posted by Annierose on November 12, 2005, at 22:10:19
You obviously do matter a lot to her. But there must be parts of you who don't know that yet. That seems to be a major part of therapy for us: finding and expressing those parts who feel so terrified, unloved and alone, and bringing them into the sessions so that they can interact with our therapists, and learn that they, too, are cared about and understood. For those parts, they will feel that that IS love. I think a lot of the very regressive things I do, like curling up in a ball, or hiding behind the couch, is a bodily way of bringing the feelings of those most lonely terrified parts into the sessions. Then they can begin to, first, feel their feelings, and then express them in words- very simple, brief words if it is a young part.
It's just in the past year that I have felt free enough to do this. I think the art therapy helped a lot in bringing out and validating the younger parts. We (the art therapist and I) began spending a lot of time actually doing play therapy with dolls, clay, etc.- that also helped a lot to bring out the youngest and most primitive feelings. I have stopped doing it, for now, because the cost, and time, just became too much.
You both have parents who are still alive. Mine are dead, but, if they were still alive, I would have loved to discuss all of the abuse with them-sexual, physical and emotional. Not in the sense of confronting them angrily, but in the sense of inquiry- needing and wanting to know just what happened. I know they would both have been full of denial, and very defensive, but anything i could have learned- for example, from their body language- would have been helpful to me, in trying to move past the "knowing and not knowing". For you both, you may have been able to answer most of those questions already in your own minds.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:577897
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051107/msgs/578188.html