Posted by Dinah on October 6, 2005, at 7:10:31
In reply to Re: Being in therapy is too much like being in love, posted by gardenergirl on October 5, 2005, at 16:15:02
And it's unfortunately one that I share. And information I was trying very hard not to convey. I think like so many twisted structures I pass everyday, Katrina also affected the therapeutic frame. I hope not beyond repair.
We've been through so much in the way of fighting to relationship that I hope this is just one more step on the journey. The biggest step maybe. But... as I told him even before this latest job prospect came up, I think I've lost faith that the therapeutic relationship can weather this particular storm. And faith is so essential to therapy.
And yet I can't bear to think in those terms. I know most people here remember my plan. I'm trying to survive by seeing this other therapist, but that isn't really paying off yet. I know, give it time. And I'm trying to distract myself by hurling myself into the idea of moving. And there is a lot to recommend itself in that. This area will take years to regain any semblance of normality. Yet I think it may just be a diversion, a distraction, the way I often obsess about something when I'm depressed. One day it will lift as if it were never even there.
For better or worse (and it will be worse if I lose my therapist) this is my home. I have roots here, and I've always liked roots. There's a book written about my father's grandfather and his son and the woman he is to marry. All set here. My son's school is here, and I can't imagine a better one for him.
For those of you who expressed that my therapist is trying his best to attend to my needs while doing what he needs to do, I do know that. That's one of the things that makes me feel cared for. I swing between being appreciative of that, and being angry. And I probably post more when I'm angry. And see, that's why the slipping of my therapist's usual iron clad boundaries seems somewhat therapeutic right now, in spite of the extra burden it places on me. I do have lots of burdens right now, but it's even more vital to me that I feel cared for at this moment than that I have no extra ones.
I don't know. This just s*cks. I'm not sleeping very well, which probably doesn't help.
I want my therapist/mommy.
I'm still planning to go to Huntsville this weekend. I hope I'm not wasting anyone's time. Perhaps I'll regain my enthusiasm when I see it again.
poster:Dinah
thread:563100
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051001/msgs/563618.html