Posted by daisym on July 10, 2005, at 19:48:01
In reply to pain, continued, posted by shrinking violet on July 10, 2005, at 11:55:38
*****I hate that I keep coming here and spouting the same nonsense over and over again, though. I wonder why I do it; Probably b/c there's no one else around who would hear it, aside from my cat, and I think he's sick of me crying into his fur. :-/ ******
I think we all feel this now and again. I certainly know that I feel like I post the same thing time after time. So no worries with us, OK? It is OK to pour out the hurt here, to write words that someone will see and respond to. Sometimes we all need to be heard one way or another.
Your pain is so raw it is almost tangible. I wish, wish, wish, that I could take it away for you. But I think you are going to have grieve this relationship and let go a little, tiny bit at a time. Perhaps it would help to actively grieve about your loss. I think writing a letter that you don't send is a good start. I also thinking writing out your wish list and then symbolically letting it go, perhaps with a balloon or with smoke that trails away, will help. Each step will bring a tiny bit more closure.
Can you imagine, just for a little while, that you need to take care of yourself like you would a friend? What would you do for a grieving friend? You would take her out, perhaps walk together quietly. You would let her talk, reflectively, angrily or sadly, as much as she needs to. You would make sweet tea, and maybe cupcakes and sit in the sun for a little while. You wouldn't ask her to stop crying until she is ready, but you would encourage her to stick her toe back into life a little. You would gently remind her of her little successes and why she is wonderful just being her.
I think you should try this, maybe just for a week? Pretend you are taking care of me, or Poet, or any of the other babble family here. I can tell from everything you've written that you are a caring, kind person. You didn't deserve this experience, and you didn't do anything wrong. Please don't beat yourself up over the "if only" thoughts that fly around and make us crazy.
Let go...just a little...we'll help you...it won't be easy...but with time, you'll see...the healing will begin. One of my favorite quotes is: "it is always darkest just before dawn" -- you are in the dark spot, dawn is coming and with it comes a new day.
(((SV)))
poster:daisym
thread:525756
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/525909.html