Posted by Tamar on July 10, 2005, at 12:56:15
In reply to pain, continued, posted by shrinking violet on July 10, 2005, at 11:55:38
(((((((SV)))))))
I’m sorry you’re hurting. And I’m sorry your cat’s fur is so full of your tears.
I remember feeling quite angry with my T after termination, so I think it’s inevitable even when termination goes well. And your termination was so difficult, no wonder you feel angry.
Do you think it would help if you wrote to her without sending the letter? Then maybe you can get all your feelings out without losing the chance of sending her a Christmas card or whatever.
I hope you don’t call your psych and absolve her of responsibility for you. If she’s still working with you, then I hope you’re finding the support at least a little useful. And I hope you’re able to start looking forward to the residential thing.
I know what you mean about wanting to know how your T feels and what she’s thinking. It seems so unfair that they won’t tell us. It’s so painful.
And it can be tempting to compare ourselves to other people, particularly sisters! But people’s lives take very different courses. I think the best thing you can do to get your life on the course you want is to keep working to get through this. But it’s hard. One day at a time. One hour at a time.
More hugs: (((((((SV)))))))
> p.s. I know you all mean well, and I hope this doesn't come off as rude or unappreciative, but please don't suggest seeing another T. I'm not ready for that, I can't do that right now, if ever, so please don't say it. Thank you. :-)
I think losing a T is like grieving after a bereavement. Some people eventually remarry after losing a spouse, but it takes time to feel ready for a new relationship. I think it’s similar with therapists. I couldn’t imagine seeing a new T now, and I’m sure you can’t imagine it either. If the time comes when you feel ready, you will know. But right now you are still grieving. Right now it’s still about getting through each day. I know it’s hard to believe, but it will get better in time. Until then, I hope you can find plenty of support. You know we’re all here for you.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:525756
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/525776.html