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Re: Again I feel like I can't go back to therapy » cricket

Posted by alexandra_k on July 7, 2005, at 18:54:47

In reply to Re: Again I feel like I can't go back to therapy » alexandra_k, posted by cricket on July 7, 2005, at 10:07:57

Ah, so it is about progress :-)
Sometimes progress can look like a bit of a step back, but it isn't.
If you can work through this then the gains could be enormous.
Because imagine what it would be like for you to feel like he really does see you. He really does. And that he doesn't find you disgusting. He likes you as a person and he still wants to help you. That could be so healing. But if you walk away now then you won't be giving him the chance to show you that. I know it can be really terrifying. Really. But it seems to me like you are becoming really well positioned to learn about trust and learn that you aren't the way you fear yourself to be. Nothing risked nothing gained. But that being said... tiny steps.

I get this rationally...
But that does't help so very much :-(

> The only gift I can give him, the only way I can pay him back for everything he's tried to do is to relieve him of my presence.

No. Then he'll be thinking 'what did I do?' 'Didn't she like me?' 'she must think I'm repulsive and couldn't stand to be with me' maybe even ;-)

> I hope that this passes before I am in danger of actually making that phone call.

Me too.
Do you think...
You could give him the first post you wrote to the thread?
Then he'll know how much of a big issue this is for you.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:524514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/524714.html