Posted by Tamar on July 7, 2005, at 18:34:36
In reply to Re: Again I feel like I can't go back to therapy » alexandra_k, posted by cricket on July 7, 2005, at 10:07:57
> He's the only person who's ever tried to see me. So I think that he must see what I see and what I see is repulsive and horrible.
I’m familiar with the fear that my therapist would see me as the repulsive and disgusting person I really am. But I’ll never forget how astonished I was when I began to talk about it: how he showed absolutely no sign of finding me disgusting. At first I thought he’d missed it, or that he didn’t understand quite how thoroughly abhorrent I am, but it eventually became apparent that he wasn’t repulsed by me. Unbelievable! And such a relief.
> The only gift I can give him, the only way I can pay him back for everything he's tried to do is to relieve him of my presence.
On the other hand… I’m not sure that he’d see your withdrawal as a gift. Maybe the gift you can give him is to keep going, and try to tell him how you’re really feeling. Easier said than done, I know.
> I hope that this passes before I am in danger of actually making that phone call.
I hope so too.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:524514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050706/msgs/524701.html