Posted by Dinah on May 17, 2005, at 20:23:42
In reply to Why is it such a big deal? » Tamar, posted by pinkeye on May 17, 2005, at 18:42:37
I think it's a big deal because it's a choice he's making, and it's not a choice that's respectful of you at all.
But I think it's a bigger deal for your daughters and sons. Do you want your daughter to be hit? Do you want her to grow up thinking it's ok to be violent as long as the violence is against women? Do you want her beautiful dark hair to be yanked? Do you want her to think she deserves to be hit?
Do you want your son to grow up to think it's ok to hit as long as it's women he's hitting? Do you want him to think it's ok to make those choices?
If you model that behavior for them, you might as well tell them "Daughter, go find a man who will hit you and pull your hair." "Son, beat up on any woman who is not perfectly obedient to you."
A friend of mine had a husband with a whole slew of flaws. I never said one word about any of them until she told me he had hit her, to the point of knocking her out once. Her kids were left to check on her and make sure she was ok. I didn't think that was ok, and I for the first time said something about her marriage. I told her to look at her beautiful daughters. And to realize that even though their Dad didn't hit them, she was teaching them that husbands hit wives, and that it was ok for them to be hit.
It's not ok for you to be hit. And it's not ok to abuse children by letting them see their same sex parent disrespected and abused. And it's not ok to abuse children by teaching them that it's ok to abuse either.
poster:Dinah
thread:496916
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/499162.html