Posted by pinkeye on May 13, 2005, at 15:33:20
In reply to Re: Can I ask you all something? **trigger** » pinkeye, posted by messadivoce on May 12, 2005, at 21:10:43
Thanks Voce.
I was very much a tom boy, too fat and ugly, and not elegant at all, and didn't dress at all like a woman - my dad thought it was so cool that I was like that, and he didn't want me to dress well at all..he thought nobody should dress well. And that it is pretty cool. He had several several strange notions.
I am glad your T helped you in that way. My ex T helped a little bit too - but I had such limited time face to face with him. I wish I had lot more time in sessions rather than emails all the time. That might have really really helped me.
But externally by the time I met him I was all woman - used to dress well, lost all my extra weight and I guess became much more feminine than what I was before - so he also didn't suspect I had more issues suppressed inside.
My husband has a different picture of what a woman would be - he still lives about 20 years back atleast, and it is hard to kind of make him understand why I might want to be free, and talk freely and stuff. Though of late he seems to be really changing. Wonder if it will last though.
> Growing up, I didn't feel like it was safe to be a woman. My T and I worked a lot on that, actually. I was a tomboy as a kid and a teen. My dad never really affirmed me as a woman, and made me feel dumb when I dressed too "girly" around him. When I went to college I still never felt comfortable dressing up really pretty. I wore a skirt to a session once with my T and I felt soooo self conscious. It became an issue in the session that we talked about.
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> My T helped me become more comfortable with my sexuality as a woman. I didn't feel like my sexuality threatened him like I felt it did my dad. He even told me once he thought I was an attractive person. I know he meant the whole package, including my personality, but he must have thought I wasn't bad looking. ;-) I feel much more confident in myself as a woman now. I enjoy getting dressed up more even though I still do love my jeans. :-)
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> As for the men in my life...my dad never really treated me with respect, even the respect you show a child. He never told me I looked nice. I always felt suspicious of men. Which made for some really interesting sessions with my male T. My fiance treats me with wonderful respect and love and consideration, and I love it! He thinks I look good no matter what I'm wearing, too, and will tell me I look nice.
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> I guess I consider myself a good *person* more than a good woman. But I like myself as a woman. I'm comfortable with that. But I'm not super girly or anything. It's just not me.
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poster:pinkeye
thread:496916
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050513/msgs/497406.html