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(so very) afraid to see T

Posted by shrinking violet on March 17, 2005, at 16:27:25

I see my T tomorrow morning for the first time in three weeks. I don't want to go....I'm scared, of being hurt and getting upset again, by her. It's hard enough when I don't see her, but I've gotten through three weeks and I'm definitely in less turmoil than when I am after I see her. I emailed her and tried to tell her to be "gentle" with me....She promised she would, and she said she wishes she knew what she has done. :-( I wish I knew, too. I'm not sure...I just know that seeing her, being with her, everything she says and does, breaks my heart.

She's going to ask questions, she may get angry/demanding/frustrated. I won't be able to answer, probably not even look at her. I'll ask to leave early. She may tell me never to come back. Or she may ask to hug me, and I'll say no even though I'll want to more than anything....

I don't want to go. :-*(


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poster:shrinking violet thread:472171
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472171.html