Posted by Poet on March 19, 2005, at 12:15:18
In reply to not well, posted by shrinking violet on March 18, 2005, at 18:54:11
Hi SV,
You wrote: I honestly think all of this time I convinced myself that I could somehow stop the end from coming if I acted angry enough, or at least stop it from affecting me so deeply. But I can't.
I don't think that's a "duh" moment. I think it's a try to face something you're afraid of moment. Therapy ending is frightening, though in my case, continuing therapy is frightening, too.
As much as I try harder to get my T to abandon me than I do to let her help me, I don't know what I would do if therapy had an actual completion date.
Talk about pressure. You are under this pressure, and that has to be so difficult, especially when like me, you stare at your shoes more than you talk. The last session my T said "should we just stare at each other in silence for the next 20 minutes?" I said I wanted to leave, but didn't. I think I understand why you did. You probably felt you were just wasting her time. My T says what little I say is never a waste, yours would say the same, it's believing it that is hard. Too hard sometimes.
I told my T I would mail her my notes (I've brought them to the last two sessions, but wouldn't read them.) I am going to try to do it today. Drop them in the mail box and then I can't retrieve them or destroy them.
Try not to be afraid of what you wrote to your T. Be proud that you had the courage to send it.
Take care.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:472171
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472800.html