Posted by shrinking violet on March 19, 2005, at 18:20:35
In reply to How are you today? » shrinking violet, posted by Shortelise on March 19, 2005, at 12:44:48
Well, in her defense, she did ask me if being angry with her is the only way I can say goodbye to her, the way I have with other relationships in the past. However, with my other relationships, the other person would leave without my knowledge and the anger would come later in response to the hurt I felt. With her, I know beforehand that my time with her is going to end, but I guess I'm still using the anger to deal with the pain, so I do think she is aware of it at least a little. The thing is, even though she may understand it logically, she seems to react to it emotionally and take it personally. I'm not really sure why.....she must have her own issues with anger, although she has told me that other clients have been angry with her and it's part of the process sometimes. But maybe since I'm angry with her quite a lot, and never seem to move past it, maybe she's reacting to that.....She also said that she thinks I want her to feel like she's failed me, that I want her to take all of the responsibility for this relationship....I was pretty taken aback by that, that she would actually think I would want her to feel that way. I addressed this in the letter to her also, but, just the fact that she thinks that says a lot about how she may perceive me, and how she also might be resentful of the fact that I caused her to question her competencies as a clinician. I don't know.....
I hate that I'm messing this up so much, though.....I so wish I could be different. :-(
Thank you,
SV> Violet, I have to say that I think your T is missing the boat here a little.
>
> We re-enact things with our T's. You could be doing that, and I don't see how she could be missing it.
>
> Hugs
> ShortE
poster:shrinking violet
thread:472171
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/472940.html