Posted by CareBear04 on January 12, 2005, at 14:55:09
In reply to Re: I told him this today » Dinah, posted by littleone on January 12, 2005, at 14:14:42
that's intersting; i never thought of it in terms of a bilateral relationship. i guess i always just envisioned the T as there for you since you're the one shelling out the bucks. i never really thought of the patient having an obligation to please the T or at least be somewhat restrained or careful so as to preserve the relationship.
i think dinah said that she has been surprised by some of the things her T has said that may go against what he would do himself. someone else talked about how she much later found out that her T was an ardent Christian. as for myself, i don't know if i could do the job of a good T. i've been in positions of being accepting of a wide range of social behavior, but i've always just sort of listened or laughed, but i've never been in the position of having to respond or make comments or suggestions. i think my own moral beliefs would make me uncomfortable, except in cases where i could talk about my own experiences and the effect they had on me. i don't think most Ts do this-- divulge personal sketchy pasts.
i guess my thought is that if the T can't tolerate what's on your mind and what you feel the need to talk about-- if it's apparent that he or she is uncomfortable, then maybe you should find a new T. i'm a bit of a therapy failure, so i shouldn't talk, but i'm under the impression that when therapy works, you are at your most honest, and the T doesn't judge or react based on moral grounds so much as make constructive suggestions if the behavior is dangerous or harmful, for example. i think therapy is a different sort of relationship than friendship or collegiality where you shouldn't have to compromise or hold back to preserve the relationship. if you're paying money, shouldn't you give it to someone who can help you the most by letting you share what's important or disturbing or pertinent?
just my thoughts, but i thought your view was intersting.
poster:CareBear04
thread:439667
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/441214.html