Posted by CareBear04 on January 12, 2005, at 3:28:02
In reply to I told him this today, posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 20:29:58
wow, this is a really interesting post. i can relate to this topic is well. i liked what messadivoce had to say. i too come from a very christian family, and until i was in the hospital for weeks after an overdose and my illness was undeniable, my parents would hardly consider therapy or meds.... i think especially therapy. for a long time and maybe still now, i think they saw mental illness as a spiritual problem, as a departure from God, and not as a real medical problem.
as a result of my background, i think i'm sort of ashamed of some of the things that i've done, especially in college. i've been very reluctant to talk about a lot of these things with therapists, but i don't know if it's more because i'm wary of how they'll react or afraid i'll offend their morals or because i'm ashamed of myself. it sounds like you, dinah, have a concrete example of why you should think twice about what you say. that's really intersting that your T would recommend orgasm early on in therapy and that over time, since you know each other better, stuff like that (words like the big 'O') become harder and harder to say.
in the past year, i've had two main therapists that have treated me for at least six months each. they are both MD psychiatrist psychoanalysts. i don't know if this makes a difference in how i approach them. one is a woman, very very kind and empathetic, very caring, but sort of motherly and protective. i do know that she has at least one child. i've disclosed much less with her about my social life, and i'm much more guarded in what i say and how i say it. in contrast, back at school a year ago, i was referred to a male dr. at first, i found him overly doctorish compared to the woman pdoc who was really warm and made me feel like i was talking to a person, not just a dr. but after awhile, i grew to love the new dr, and i miss him a lot now. at first, i hated going to therapy-- i was required to do 3x a week, and it was like pulling teeth-- but after awhile, i really clicked with him. i don't know why, but i love that he is aggressive about treatment on the med side, that he is totally irreverent and blunt, that he has a dirtier mouth than i do, and that he treated me like an adult. at first, he seemed to think i was really prissy and talked to me only about school and such. at one point, i think i got tired of being thought of as such an angel, and i said something like, "you know, i'm in college... i do have other stuff in my life besides classes and seeing you!" after that, he seemed to veer completely towards the other extreme and assumed that i was a total party girl. he assumed that i was hooking up with all the guys in my life and took it for granted that i was sleeping with my boyfriend. i didn't really bother to correct him... i think it amused both of us to some extent. i think i was more comfortable with it because he didn't use clinical words to address subjects like sex; whether appropriate or not, he spoke in terms of "f---ing" and other words that my friends would be much more likely to use than any dr. we never talked specifically about personal sex stories or anything, but somehow, his frankness made everything a possible topic of conversation. we mostly talked about books and movies and philosophy and medicine and broad topics like that which are nothing like 'real' therapy, but i still think he's the greatest, and if i ever had to discuss an uncomfortable topic, i would choose to do it with him over the kind and caring woman pdoc anyday. i like them both, and i'm still surprised at how i came to like this guy and feel comfortable with him.
sorry if this is sort of off-topic. i just definitely understand the feeling of needing to censor yourself when speaking to your T for fear of causing him/her or yourself to be uncomfortable.
thanks for the posts... really intersting!
poster:CareBear04
thread:439667
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050111/msgs/441021.html