Posted by Pfinstegg on December 27, 2004, at 21:01:38
In reply to Re: Not exactly a real update.. » Pfinstegg, posted by daisym on December 27, 2004, at 20:19:55
She talks in sudden quick bursts- those come in the middle of the flow of free association. Her statements are really startling and unexpected to us both- they are really unconscious to me until the second they are spoken. He does often ask her questions, or speak directly to her, but only after he knows that she's really *there*. He speaks to her in an especially gentle tone, and with simple words. The feelings start getting strong a bit before the words come out-all the hard ones- fear, shame, sobbing. The thing that helps me the most is that, after he has spoken so gently to her, he encourages me to understand and comfort her, also. For a long time, I kept forgetting to do that (I wanted to forget about her), but now that I can remember better, it really does lessen my emotional distress to try to put side my competition with her and try to consciously comfort her. I think he feels that it's such a major task dealing with ego states that both he and the adult me need to do everything we possibly can.
While I would love to feel more comfort, at least I do feel much more aware of my young self, and her cut-off, until now unconscious memories. I think it has helped to decrease my anxiety and depression, at least some, and has given me more sureness and confidence in my daily life. Do you comfort any of your younger selves- or does your T. ask you to do that?
I do miss him during any breaks, although not as intensely as I did initially- but very much the way you mentioned. I have fantasies to help with that: that I (the little girl) take a walk with him in the woods behind his house- he actually encouraged me to drive by to see his house when I first expressed an interest! I know that's a bit different from some experiences others have had with house drive-bys!
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:433059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/434789.html