Posted by daisym on December 27, 2004, at 20:19:55
In reply to Not exactly a real update.., posted by Pfinstegg on December 27, 2004, at 19:34:02
Sounds to me like you are realistic in your expectations of how long it might take her to feel real comfort. Trusting comes slowly, but I think comfort comes even slower. It is hard to articulate why, exactly. As you said, you just don't expect anything that good to happen. How is it that you have been able to get her to talk? Do you feel her first...or have her memories arrived, whole or in pieces? I'm also curious is your therapist asks her direct questions. Do parts of you miss him, even if it is "just" for the weekend?
I found that I was really nervous in the waiting room today, after the Holiday break. It occured to me that little daisy was sure our therapist would get his days mixed up and forget to come and get her. Even if unintentional, she was braced for a let down. So we talked about this. And we talked about being without him for 4 days. I said, "it was hard at times and I felt sad at night." He wanted to know what hard meant and why I felt sad. I didn't know really. "I missed you" didn't seem right -- it was more than that. The little pieces in me felt more fragmented and more anxious without their safe base. Plus the war between the adult-me and the "kids" intensifies without his input. I guess this is all just a continuation of the trust aspect.
I really want to talk to someone besides my therapist about what is happening in therapy -- I guess I'm trying to validate my experience and understand it more. It feels really important right now, for some reason. I hope we can continue this thread.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:433059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/434760.html