Posted by littleone on December 22, 2004, at 21:05:04
In reply to Re: A Few Thoughts » Rigby, posted by crushedout on December 22, 2004, at 20:29:38
Hi crushed,
I could be thinking of someone else here, but have you had a couple of T's over the last few years who you've really fallen for? If you have, then there seems to be some sort of pattern there and it is probably the pattern that needs to be understood and addressed rather than the transference feelings towards the individual T.
I understand why you would want to go back to your previous T. When you have that special bond with someone, it can feel like you've lost part of yourself when they/you leave.
However, it sounds like you're still a little confused within yourself (maybe a bit unconsciously) as to why exactly you should be going back. In one message you said something about wanting that special closeness and bond reinstated, but in another message, you say you want to resolve the transference.
I know that these two things don't have to be exclusive to each other, but in this case, I can't see how your old T can meet both these needs similtaneously.
You mentioned that your current T was a temporary in between T and it really doesn't sound like you've bonded strongly (although I can't recall how long you've been with him/her).
I was going to suggest that you try going to a new T. But maybe try to shake things up a bit. If say your old T was a woman, try seeing a man. Or try seeing someone with a different personality to your old T.
I guess the only other thing I wanted to remind you of was that you did have a strong bond with your old T, but if I recall correctly, she seemed over invested in the relationship. Which invariably means that she had certain needs being met in the relationship. And when she's meeting her needs (either consciously or unconsciously), she's not doing the best thing in your interests.
But like I said earlier, I could be way off base and have you confused with someone else.
Take care.
poster:littleone
thread:432666
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/433108.html