Posted by Aphrodite on September 3, 2004, at 13:44:48
In reply to Re: Crisis #28,567 (long), posted by DaisyM on September 3, 2004, at 11:32:31
I think you're probably right that I am testing him, but if I really need him, it's a stupid thing for me to do. After all, I've done this before, and I know he doesn't chase. He's very much into my autonomy and knows that I am rebellious enough to be resentful if he used any strong arm tactics. He's irritatingly patient. But I have a pattern of running every time I've been close to someone. When I was younger, I would break up with boyfriends if they were too nice. If someone helps me, I am uncomfortable in the friendship unless I can "even it up." I can't stand the thought of being a burden to him, an unpredictable weepy mess engaging in attention-getting behavior. I don't mean for it to be that way. I'm getting isolation, not attention, but I have no idea how to heal or how to accept his support.
Thanks for your kindness. Lots of tears today.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:385941
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/386052.html