Posted by DaisyM on September 3, 2004, at 11:32:31
In reply to Re: Crisis #28,567 (long), posted by Dinah on September 3, 2004, at 11:19:22
Aphrodite,
You know I've been where you are so this might sound harsh but I believe it to be true. There is a part of you that is "testing" your therapist to see if you are important enough for him to "chase" you and insist that you keep going to therapy. Somewhere in there, you've been so damaged by people who were suppose to take care of you that running when they get close is an ingrained response. It is the same struggle that I have over and over..."tell me again that I NEED TO BE HERE" because it seems selfish. Plus, if there is this big need to tell something, and anxiety too, this may be masking your fear. Another way of keeping your defenses up.
You aren't a quitter. Take pride in that. It takes more guts and courage to go back in there and start again. You don't even have to apologize, just show up and go forward.
God, it hurts. I know that. And it is so confusing. But you aren't alone, you have your son and you have us and you do have your therapist. Remember, you asked him to advocate for your younger side. This is important. Let him do it. And, keep explaining that you have to live your life too.
You can put the brakes on without stopping. I'm going to do that for awhile.
I'm going away for the weekend. If I can check in I will. Please take care of yourself and rethink this decision.
Hugs
Daisy
poster:DaisyM
thread:385941
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/385992.html