Posted by daisym on September 2, 2004, at 0:26:11
In reply to Re: Does your Therapist understand how important they, posted by lucy stone on September 1, 2004, at 23:16:40
Lucy,
I want to clarify without sounding defensive.
When I say my therapist "insists" that I come, it usually goes like this:
"I think you should come and we should talk about what you are feeling. You know me, I think we should talk about whatever is going on. I want you to come."
I've expressed to him before that I need him to advocate for the parts of me that need and want therapy. Because the part of me that thinks I should be stronger and do it myself looms large.
I need to be reminded that it is OK to be doing this work. He knows I would interpret "it is your choice" as "I don't care what you do."I guess that is why therapy is such an individual process. I have to learn to trust another person with the damaged parts of myself. To learn that someone can know this stuff and still care about you. We've talked about my perception that no one, irl, really can handle knowing how emotionally unstable I feel, they would be burdened with feeling like they had to fix it. I don't want that. Yet he points out that until I allow myself to trust others with my emotions, all of them, I will be missing something huge from my relationships. I know this, I feel it already. I just can't risk the vulnerability yet. I'm practicing with him.
I also think that in 99% of my life I'm not only the "adult" but I'm the adult in charge. He refuses to allow only this strong front which crowds out the wounded child. But he never makes me feel childish. He just accepts the childlike parts.
I do sound defensive, don't I? I guess it is because I've never let myself be this vulnerable with anyone before and I still question the wisdom of this dependency off and on. No one has ever nurtured my soul like this. What a sad realization that is.
poster:daisym
thread:385420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/385526.html