Posted by lucy stone on September 1, 2004, at 23:16:40
In reply to Re: Does your Therapist understand how important they » DaisyM, posted by Pfinstegg on September 1, 2004, at 22:36:39
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> I never thought of myself as having any kind of ego state or dissociative disorder! It's so easy to have one and not know it! Do you think other people here might have them, but that their therapists don't work in that way, and so they don't find out? I've always wondered about that, as I think it's just you and me who write about it.I think that if I went to either of your therapists I might be diagnosed with an ego state or dissociative disorder. My analyst does not work that way, and he doesn't like diasnoses very much so he wouldn't express it that way. He will point out that sometimes I am feeling little and seeing him as big, but he doesn't encourage it. It fact, he says that he will never infantalize me, and I know that he would not work with a younger self. When I am feeling like that he relates it to experiences I had when I was a child and we explore what it was like for me then and how it still influences my life, but he does not treat me like I am still little. He tries to make me see that the things I want and I feel little are not possible for adults to have, and that by looking for them I am crippling myself. I have a fantasy of a big, strong person taking care of me, of having him wrap his arms around me and say that everything will be OK, but my analyst will not play a role in it. He says that it wouldn't work, because I can never have that. It's the Golden Fantasy, for those who have read "In Session". He says that as long as I am looking to fulfill the fantasy I will never get what I need from the real relationships in my life and I believe he is right about that. He was and is a rock for me, always there, always supportive, always accessable, very kind and compassionate, but as one adult to another, not as adult to a younger self. It is a very different approach. I know that some of the things that Daisy's T does, like insisting that she show up for sessions, giving pictures and encouraging her to look at them, offering to call while on vacation, he would also never do. If I say that I might not come to a session he would ask why, but he would emphasize that it is my decision to come or not come, that I am capable of making that decision on my own. It is his way of encouraging me to be responsible for my own self and my own treatment. Very different indeed.
poster:lucy stone
thread:385420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/385486.html