Posted by Pfinstegg on September 1, 2004, at 21:36:34
In reply to Does your Therapist understand how important they, posted by daisym on September 1, 2004, at 20:17:56
What you're worried about isn't strange at all- not the least bit. I am always amazed at how your therapist works. He seems so good at getting unknown parts of you into the therapy hours. The parts he helps to get in there have terrifying memories and viewpoints of their own, but I'm assuming the fears- of being too open, too dependent, too needy, and at the same time, very afraid that they won't be able to connect with him- are THEIR fears- fragments of childhood fears which have been hidden inside you for all these years.
If you could just *stay* on the surface, and be the adult you, you probably would not be nearly as worried about all these feelings. The adult *you* seems to know just how wonderful, steady and caring he is- think of the wonderful thoughts about the "sacred trust", and about HIM not being ready to let you go before you are ready. It's the childhood parts who are still very unsure tht they have found such a wonderful, safe person to share themselves with.
I'm going through the same process, and it helps me to think about your feelings, as they are so similiar to my own! I can talk about memories of abuse much more easily now, but I still get blind-sided by the extreme amounts of fear and uncertainty my own child-parts have in relation to my analyst. Sometimes they are so unsure if he is actually there or not; I find myself saying, "you're there, right? Where are you? Who are you? It seems like you're not there", and finally, "Oh. OK. you're there. I know it" - on and on. I feel so foolish saying these things over and over, but, each time, he takes them so seriously. He speaks directly to those parts, saying, "yes, I am here" "I am your doctor" "I am not going to leave you" "I am taking care of you". I guess it sounds a little silly in print, but the child parts of me listen so intently, and seem to want to hear him say it over and over.
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:385420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040828/msgs/385447.html