Posted by Dinah on August 22, 2004, at 0:00:33
In reply to The real Dinah, posted by Pfinstegg on August 21, 2004, at 18:26:56
I'm going to have to think a bit more about it. At the moment, I can't see any benefit to my existence even though I've been working for a long time in therapy to release the real me. I'm just not quite grasping *why* right now. I think I remember something about everything getting expressed as anxiety attacks, but I think I'm on medications for anxiety anyway.
I'm going to have to think about it.
I think that on this board you mainly see the Dinah Who Is As She Should Be, guided to a greater or lesser extent depending on the post by the Dinah Who Is As She Is. So I'm not sure what those of you who like Dinah are responding to. The Dinah Who Is As She Should Be can pass as real, I think.
I'm thinking of going back into hiding. I'm thinking that being non-genuine may be a better way to live. My husband sure likes the Dinah Who Is as She Should Be a lot more. In fact, he'd like me to be a bit more "Should Be". My husband's big on shoulds.
I told my therapist that I feel like I'm standing on a ledge deciding whether to jump, even though I'm posing no threat to my physical body. And that's all that matters, right? At least it always seemed that way. And I'm not sure it isn't true. I still haven't figured out what earthly good I am to anyone including myself. I *think* my therapist doesn't particularly like the Should Be Dinah, and prefers the Dinah Who Is as She Is. But even he couldn't come up with a better reason than just that it was valuable to be genuine. That doesn't seem good enough a reason.
If the fake me can fulfill all my functions, and better than the real me - what is my purpose in being genuine?
poster:Dinah
thread:380351
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040821/msgs/380659.html