Posted by kindgirl on July 31, 2004, at 21:37:36
In reply to Re: everyones advice, posted by Jadah on July 31, 2004, at 18:10:25
Jadah,
You are sooooooooooooooooooooooo honest and that is soooooooooooooooooooo great. Thank you for keeping the doors open here, and your writings/feelings do not offend me in any way at all. I think you offer a lot of wisdom and insight for all of us. So, thanks for that!Those feelings run so deep for him. You care a lot about him, and you have a history with him. Do you ever listen to New Life Live (radio show)? It is hosted by Stephen Arterburn and John Townsend, and your situation reminds me of one that I heard about last week. This man called in because he was having an affair with another man for over 40 years. This man started to have feelings for a woman at work, and called in because he was so conflicted, so hurt, and didn't know what to do. I love the advice they gave him...
This is what they said in a nutshell...even though the situation may be wrong, sinful, not what is best for you or him, your feelings for him are real and you truly do love him. That is the truth. He has some very wonderful qualities about him and that is what you love about him and what attracts you to him. It is not all bad. It isn't that simple.The caller wanted to get out of the relationship but didn't know how. He was very upset...and their advice was for the man to sleep on the couch...keep the relationship but move away slowly over time. I think getting another therapist lined up is moving in that direction...and you need to cut yourself some slack and grace because this is excruciating for you. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place...if you stay you feel guilty and are afraid of the ultimate rejection/end of the relationship...if you go, you will miss him and your heart will break into a million pieces. Am I right?
You are so conflicted right now, I can hear that...and I only want to offer you my safe friendship and shoulder to cry on or ear to vent to...with absolutely no judgment. We have all been there...we have all made messes of our lives and so nobody is better than anyone else. Don't do that to yourself. I would say to you to keep journaling...just keep putting it all down...get it out somehow...talk to yourself...do some soul searching....and hang in there. You can write back to me whatever you want. No judgment. Promise.
(((((Jadah))))
Kindgirl
poster:kindgirl
thread:267681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372769.html