Posted by Jadah on July 31, 2004, at 18:10:25
In reply to Re: I'm in love with my therapist, posted by pinkeye on July 17, 2004, at 1:36:45
I actually have looked into another therapist. I havent discussed this with my T though. I wonder about the outcome: will he say then that we need to stop everything and stick strictly to therapy the way it was? (this is not what I want), will he feel betrayed that i sought out someone to repalce him? What if I see a new therapist and then our affair ends? Will I end up with a complete loss of him? I think I will keep this other therapist lined up in the wind if my current situation goes array. I cant bear to lose him completely. I feel like, for now, I do have the best of both worlds, worlds that will collide in time. Although some of you disagree with what is going on, I have no regrets, not at this point anyway. I do need to find a way to "soften the blow" when things change, minimize the hurt. Even then, I dont believe I would give back anything I had/have with him for the world. It has been a very nurturing, learning experience. It happened, it continues, I have to take responsibility for my part including the consequences. I wonder though, even with a new T, if the transference would become overwhelming and the rejection of my desire be just as hurtful. For now, I am content. Each day is exciting, wondering what and when things will happen next. I know my story is different than most. I hope people can get what they can from it, but I also wonder if I am merely agitating some of you. I do not want to disturb anyone especially in your struggles with transferenc/countertransference issues. This is a wonderfull and safe place for me, but if my messages are upsetting anyone please let me know. That is not my intention. I do take into account what everyones input is. Everything seems twofold and difficult for me at times, to hear your input. I do appreciate it. Please try to find empathy and understanding within yourselves and try not to become impatient with me. Your words are wise, but easier said than done. Hope to hear from you all soon.
poster:Jadah
thread:267681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372733.html