Posted by kindgirl on July 31, 2004, at 5:31:59
In reply to Re: I mean, my post was for Jadah, posted by Jadah on July 19, 2004, at 21:09:54
Jadah,
I am late here in this thread but read your post early on and my heart just ached for yours. I was going to post back to you that I hope you could find another therapist (not to replace him...but to help in this entirely separate issue you have not that includes him), and I think you could do it and not even necessarily disclose everything. You could talk very vaguely about all of it, and I know another perspective might help clear your eyes a bit. Yes, tear-filled eyes...
I am so sorry.You asked how many people would say yes, and I really don't know. This is not the same situation, but I had a teacher that I really really loved...he was like a therapist for me in a lot of ways...I trusted him, confided in him...I was in high school....he was married, but I still dreamed of fooling around with this dream man and "going all the way."
One day, it happened. He started to do things with his hands...just as an introduction to see if I was willing...and it went from there in the next few weeks. Boy was I willing! And you know, it is like you said, the dream was so much better than the fantasy. The physical relationship was not what I thought it would be...he was a selfish partner and I found out things about him I didn't want to know that totally ruined the fantasy.
My therapist is a female, and to be honest, I have had fantasies about her. From what I read, this is pretty typical, so I try not to freak about it. I am hetero and married, but I do wonder what it would be like to "know" her...to know all about her...to feel special to her because she does with me what she didn't do with anyone else, etc. You know, I am sure.
So, there is a huge part of me that would say "no" simply because I have been in this kind of thing where someone I idolized and wanted soooooooooooooooo badly took me up on it, and it turned out badly. But I have to say there is another big part of me that would jump at the situation because the desire is so intense and the longing and loneliness to be known and loved deep down is so great I would do anything to feel close to her, no matter what. Am I making any sense? Are you even reading this thread anymore?
You ARE very articulate and sound very loving and compassionate and so I bet you are a wonderful social worker. What would you say to you if you were one of your clients? Now you know what the whole mess feels like, unfortunately. I hope some good will come out of it...I think it will. Thinking of you and hoping you are well...
poster:kindgirl
thread:267681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372570.html