Posted by DaisyM on May 26, 2004, at 20:20:03
In reply to Re: Update » antigua, posted by Pfinstegg on May 26, 2004, at 18:08:20
(((Antigua)))
We all need to meet for drinks after days like today. Or at least a group cry.
I think you will find out eventually that anger has a place in all of this, though I haven't found mine yet. I think shock is a really good word to describe how I feel when I'm in this part of the cycle.
I bet your Therapist is excited because this is new territory for you. And movement, though painful, is good.
I think I said yesterday what you said today. I was the one who didn't tell, and I had the body that responded. And that makes me just sick to think about.
My Therapist said he was able and willing to give me a biology lesson...but what he would rather have me think about was this...If it is so hard for me to choke out the words of what happened, at 42 years old, to him who I trust and who has never hurt or failed me, in the safe environment of his office, clutching my couch pillows, how it the world could I think an 11 year old girl could tell anyone back then? Maybe she should have. But he wants me to try to forgive the should and look closely at her situation and how utterly paralyzed with fear she must have been. He also reminded me that we when first started working on all this stuff, I talked in cryptic paragraphs "I hate to be hugged" and I somehow thought he would figure it out and say it for me. He wonders if the 11 year old didn't do this too...and noone figured it out then either.
I wish you weren't so hard on yourself. And I wish I could help more. Please let me know how you are doing.
Hugs from me.
Daisy.
poster:DaisyM
thread:350498
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/350924.html