Posted by spoc on April 22, 2004, at 21:52:45
In reply to Re: Sex abuse - effect even if not realized?, posted by DaisyM on April 21, 2004, at 23:50:13
Hi DaisyM,
Thanks for answering -- I saw one of your other posts and know that you are going through a lot right now....
---
> Research tells us that it isn't so much "what" happened (the act) but who did it, what the circumstances were, and most importantly, what happened after. If the child told someone, was believed and was able to deal with the emotions at the time and heal, the long term effects at the time are less. > > If the trauma is kept a secret, which most of do, it gets buried really deeply but it festers. >---
I don't fare well on any of those counts...
----> I found myself "suddenly" depressed at 41 (last yr). My son had developed an anxiety disorder at age 11, the same age I was when I was experiencing csa. I didn't know I was being triggered...I thought I was "just" overloaded. I remembered the csa (kind of) but thought I had made a success of my life "despite" the abuse. I am finding out now that much of my emotional state is the result of what happened to me. That doesn't mean the other stuff in my life isn't hard or couldn't cause depression, anxiety etc. When I started therapy I had no intention of even talking about it. Somehow it surfaced and we've done a lot of work to connect all the dots. >
-----
It's hard for me not to make things relative in my case and minimize them, as I was saying in my above post to Beta. I don't think I'll ever "allow" myself to look at this in my life. But, all my lip service to having everything in my life in perspective and putting responsibility for who I became squarely on myself has indeed not helped me so far. In general I need to speak from the gut for a change. I qualify everything and add mature-sounding footnotes to show that I know what "conventional wisdom" (or a professional) would say. Anyway I will try to include this subject if I try therapy again, which I know I should but my last experience with that seems to have me formally accepting that I'm not worth saving. Hopefully I'll get the motivation back.Thanks for your comments, and I'm so sorry about everything you're going through...
poster:spoc
thread:336255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/338995.html