Posted by DaisyM on April 21, 2004, at 23:50:13
In reply to Re: Sex abuse - effect even if not realized?, posted by spoc on April 19, 2004, at 19:40:58
Research tells us that it isn't so much "what" happened (the act) but who did it, what the circumstances were, and most importantly, what happened after. If the child told someone, was believed and was able to deal with the emotions at the time and heal, the long term effects at the time are less.
If the trauma is kept a secret, which most of do, it gets buried really deeply but it festers. Something, somewhere might trigger the memories. Whether this ever happens or not, typically we develop behaviors in part because of what has happened. That doesn't mean a person can't have a wonderful life or have other, nonrelated problems. But it is pretty unusual for there to be effects.
I found myself "suddenly" depressed at 41 (last yr). My son had developed an anxiety disorder at age 11, the same age I was when I was experiencing csa. I didn't know I was being triggered...I thought I was "just" overloaded. I remembered the csa (kind of) but thought I had made a success of my life "despite" the abuse. I am finding out now that much of my emotional state is the result of what happened to me. That doesn't mean the other stuff in my life isn't hard or couldn't cause depression, anxiety etc. When I started therapy I had no intention of even talking about it. Somehow it surfaced and we've done a lot of work to connect all the dots.
I don't know if this helps. I don't want to give the message that you HAVE to have problems.
poster:DaisyM
thread:336255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/338619.html