Posted by deirdrehbrt on April 21, 2004, at 8:01:42
In reply to Re: Darn stupid thing to be upset about, posted by fallsfall on April 20, 2004, at 21:33:23
Dinah,
I agree with everyone else here in that you have a therapist who is putting your recovery first. It seems that he is doing everything that he can to do his job well.
In any human relationship though, there will be pain. Some of it will be unintentional, but some of it might be, for whatever reason, intentional, or at least expected. It doesn't mean that we WANT to hurt someone else, but that with what is happening, we can't avoid hurting someone.
I think that when your T is saying that he might let you down, it doesn't mean that he WANTS to hurt you. Perhaps it means that he won't understand you when you think he should, maybe he will forget to tell you that you appointment had to be changed, maybe he won't see the pain that you are hiding from him that you secretly want him to see.
We all place our T's on some sort of pedestal. They are the ones who are going to make us well. They are like god recreating Adam or Eve inside of us. We can't heal our lives, but they can. How can we come to terms that God, or the Goddess might have some of our human foibles or peccadillos. Maybe that's what we are so afraid of, that if we see their flaws, maybe they won't be able to help us.
I have certain requirements that I need in a therapist, maybe some of them are unreasonable; They need to be older than me. They need to be at least as smart as me, preferably much smarter. They need to have lots of experience.
I have one or two unreasonable requirements; I can't be able to BS them. They have to always see that I am hiding somethign. I've gotten over these as I realized that I am an expert at BS and hiding things. That's my job to get over. My T knows I do this, after BS-ing and wasting a year of therapy, and watches for it.
I guess we all have both sorts of requirements. You don't have anything to be upset about, it's just another bit of learning, and you are a fabulous learner.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:338155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/338338.html